Spiritual implications of verbal abuse:
∙sense of unworthiness
∙inner recording: “You’re not good enough”
∙veil of condemnation; “mini-curses”
∙don’t trust when people are kind (which produces selfishness)
∙afraid of taking responsibility for themselves because they will fail
∙want to remain emotionally immature
∙want someone else to fix them
∙work of the accuser (“You are not meeting my needs”)
∙unable to absorb care
∙no confidence at making decisions for themselves
∙can’t handle confrontation
∙inner anger and feeling of having no control
(Perhaps for borderlines, dissociation is a patterned choice to avoid the anguish that comes from their fear of taking responsibility, fear of trusting, fear of confronting the lies about self, fear of being cared about, etc. By slight contrast, MPD’s dissociate when triggered by something that produces a strong emotional response that is associated with a traumatic memory.)
Focus for counseling:
∙pray and remove the veil of condemnation
∙reverse any curses
∙in prayer, tear down any barriers to the truth
∙destroy the inner record, whatever it says negatively about the person
∙give them chances to take control of their lives
∙teach them make appropriate decisions
∙before they come to the office, bind the accuser Satan
∙teach them how to be spiritual aggressive
∙teach them how to destroy the strongholds of fear/passivity/self-hatred
For example, have them choose affirmations of truth such as:
∙I choose to believe that God loves me.
∙It is possible for me to have an intimate relationship with God.
∙I refuse all condemnation.
∙I reverse all curses that my parents may have spoken over me.
∙It is a lie that I will never be good enough.
∙I choose to believe that what God tells me is true.
∙I am accepted by God.
∙I refuse all of Satan’s lies.
(Also use list “Dismantling Self-Hatred”)
Conclusion: Many borderline personalities can find emotional health and spiritual freedom by using a two-pronged counseling approach:
∙deal with the underlying spiritual issues
∙teach/model appropriate responses in self-care, decision making, etc.
Ask them to tell God what they need from Him. (possible answers are: take away my anxiety, give me confidence, give me emotional stability, get rid of the sense of doom I feel, I want an intimate and comfortable relationship with God)
Ask them what they think God would say to them. (possible answers are: He loves me and/or He’s not mad at me.)
(DID’s would answer this question: “He hates me. He wants to kill me. I would hide.”)
Ask them how they would respond to God. (possible answers are: I want to hide under the desk, get anxious)
Ask them why they would react like that? (possible answers are: because I’m not accepted, I don’t deserve His love, something is wrong with me because others have a relationship with Him and I can’t seem to, so I get anxious)